Communication between ENTP and -S-types: how to

Nobody likes talking more than ENTPs. That being said, we might seem utterly bored listening to your account of your day at work, gossips or news about sports or politics. In my experience, this can cause problems especially if you have Se high in your stack. We don’t really care about what happens in real life. We might pretend we care, out of love for you, but that’s not the same. It’s not that we don’t care about you, we do. It’s just that we don’t see the point in discussing something that’s already happened. However, this might be important to you. The other way around, we love talking about abstract ideas, often hypothetical situations and so on, while you probably couldn’t care less. This can become a big problem, but there is a way out, as long as you’re both willing to work on it.

Combine the powers of S & N

The way out is not (I can’t emphasize this enough, “NOT”) both of you pretending to be interested in what the other tells you, since that will only lead to resentment and frustration. Rather, it’s finding intersections where you can discuss complex ideas and apply them to real life situations. My boyfriend is ISTP and for us this is a great way to cope with what we both need. Possible conversation topics we have:

  • He tells me about Max Verstappen’s most recent race. I focus on what he says in the broader framework of justice in winning and losing. We go on discussing if something that has happened is fair or not.
  • I talk to him about MBTI. He applies the framework to our friends and real-life situations, which I use to sharpen my understanding of the model.
  • He talks to me about something that happened at work. I apply my interest in leadership to offer a broader perspective on the topic, which he in turn applies to his career.

An ENTP is most happy when talking about ideas. We lead with our Ne and that’s just the way it is. Sure, we can develop our inferior Si (and even our Se), but it won’t come natural to us. If you’re an S (… if you read this as ‘an ass’, I’m sorry and it’s not intended) things are different. You’re probably far less interested in our abstract thoughts and though you might pretend it won’t give you the rush it gives us. Instead of trying to change each other, combine the powers of N & S to see how well abstract ideas can be applied in real life and how real life occurrences fit in the bigger picture.

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