There was this one situation, several years back. I was hanging out with some friends I considered my best friends. By that time, we’ve known each other for I think 7 years or so and we started talking about our significant others and I said I would accept any S/O they had the way that person was, because they were my best friends and so their life partners were part of the deal as far as I was concerned. A stunned silence followed, after which one of my friends said: “uhm… I’ve never expected you to feel this way. You say we’re your best friends, but I feel like I don’t know anything about you.” To my surprise, my other friends felt exactly the same way. Now this was absolutely shocking to me, because I felt they knew a lot about me. I felt like I was opening up plenty of time. And so, turning it over in my mind, I came to the conclusion that the problem was with them. I put in so much effort, so if they still didn’t know me, that must mean they didn’t care.
Whenever I check out ENTP blogs and discussion boards, one of the questions that pops up a LOT is this: how do I choose the right career? Now the reason most ENTPs struggle with this question is twofold:
- We’re good at finding connections between seemingly unrelated topics. As a result, we don’t like being pigeonholed into a job title where we have to stick to our own private island of marketing or finance or HR.
- We’re usually good at managing things (that’s because we see connections between different stuff and use this knowledge to keep track of a great many things at once). However, most entry-level positions do not include management tasks and our direct and honest approach rubs enough seniors the wrong way that we often don’t make it to the management layer in the first place.
For me, this has been a huge struggle and more so because I didn’t know I was an ENTP. For years, I honestly believed something was wrong with either me or the world. It’s only recently that I’ve encountered some wonderful advice on choosing a job, and more specifically choosing your first job.
I think it was around July this year that I had to come to terms with the truth: I was unhappy.
It was a weird thing, and a cliche at the same time. I had everything: a steady boyfriend, a good job at a Big4 company, a beautiful home, plenty of friends and hobbies. Yet I couldn’t feel joy. Don’t get me wrong, on a rational level, I knew my life was perfect and I’d done a good job getting here, especially being just 27. But on a more emotional level… I felt numb. Disconnected. Unhappy.
Now I don’t think I’m being very original here. In fact, isn’t that what we do these days? Get everything we want, then decide we don’t want it? I’d read about it in books. Hell, “Eat, Pray, Love” ranked pretty high amongst my favorite books. So how did I fall into this trap? Why couldn’t my perfect life just be enough? Continue reading “Why you are unhappy though you have it all”